By Allan Pole
Marty was touring Europe just as they were breaking down the Berlin Wall. Wanting to get some historic pieces of the Wall, he headed for Berlin. Because he found the hotels there beyond his means, he asked a young policeman if he knew of an inexpensive place where he could stay. The policeman told Marty he had a small apartment he wasn’t using and he was welcome to use it. When Marty offered him money the policeman declined, but explained, “When I come to Canada, I want to stay at your place.”
Such openness is all too rare these days! However, the words of the Apostle Peter still direct us in 1 Peter 4:9: “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” NIV
The term “hospitality” used in the Bible means “love of the stranger or alien.” Hospitality is one of the primary means for us to demonstrate love to others.
When you first hear this you might think, “Oh, I better start having people over to my house.” This would be one application, but it goes much deeper. It begins with becoming an open person.
Some minds are like concrete—thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Those who boast about having an open mind often have an open mouth to match. James 1:19 summarizes one of the most challenging pursuits in life:
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” NIV
Opening our minds begins with opening our ears. Our ears and mouth cannot be open at the same time. We can become good listeners as we:
- Seek to understand before we seek to be understood.
- Hear the feeling behind the words. Express empathy for the other’s feelings.
- Reflect on what we’ve heard and check out the accuracy of the meanings we pick up. Summarize what we understand to the speaker.
- Stop pushing our own agenda—a hard one for followers of Jesus who want to share our faith.
- Know our limits—don’t be a listening sponge. We get to talk too.
- Work at it. We are naturally self-centred people so it takes practice and discipline to put another’s needs first.
Would your friends and family say you are a good listener? Would they say that you have an open mind?
Openness starts between the ears.